"I think it’s great for two people to be together. That is a good number. I think, that to keep it alive though, you can’t spend every day together. It wears out the magic, Love means nothing to me if it’s not fortified with fierce, painful longing, brief explosive instances of furious passion and intimacy and then a sad parting for a time. In that way, you can give your life to it and still have a life of your own. I think some couples spend too much time together. They flatten out the potential for experience by constant closeness. Passion builds over time like steam. Let it rage until it’s exhausted and then leave it alone to let it build up again. Why can’t love be insane and distorted? How can it be vital if it has the same threshold as normal day-to-day experience? 
Why can’t you write burning letters and let your nocturnal self smolder with desire for one who is not there? Why not let the days before you see her be excruciating and ferment in your mind so on the day you go to the airport to pick her up, you’re nearly sick with anticipation? And then when desire shows the first sign of contentment, throw it back it its cage and let it slowly build itself back into a state of starved fury. Then when you are together, it all matters. So that when you look into her eyes, you lose your balance, so that when she touches you, it feels like you have never been touched before. When she says your name, you think it was she who named you. When she has gone, you bury your face in the pillow to smell her hair and you lie awake at night remembering your face in her neck, her breathing and the amazing smell of her skin. Your eyes go wet because you want her so bad and miss her so much. Now that is worth the miles and the time. That matches the inferno of life. Otherwise you poison each other with your presence day after day as you drag each other through the inevitable mundane aspects of your lives. That is the slow death that I see slapped on faces everywhere I go. It’s part of the world’s sadness that’s more empty than cold, poorly lit rooms in cities of the American night. 

Henry Rollins

“Yet she likes complications. She wishes she could turn and say: I like people who unbalance me.”
Let the Great World Spin, Colum McCann

I'm wearing a f21 jacket, j.crew floral shirt, f21 black shirt, h&m jeans, demonia creepers.
I'm not sure what I was doing when I was taking these pictures. I didn't exactly get the shot I wanted, but whatever. I'm putting them here so I didn't completely waste my time. I'm writing this post from home, I'm excited to unwind in my bedroom. My dorm is okay, but it's nice to be here. Tomorrow is my birthday, I'm finally going to be 18! This means clubs, lottery tickets, gambling, cigarettes, and a nice bong. (for tobacco use, obviously...)
Or was I doing that already?

Take me to middle of the forest
To the top of a mountain;
I want to dangle my feet from the ledge
of a rocky cliff. 

Bring me to where the millions of visible stars
look down on me every night
Where the trees welcome you 
with their open arms
and clean air.

I could feel the wind bite my face
the rain soak into my skin
or the crisp intensity
of swimming unclothed.

I want to sleep on the cold ground
without the comfort of my bed
without the warmth of my home
without the safety of staying in one place.

I want to feel the earth
for the first time.

Today I went downtown New Haven with my roommate on a search for the wonderful yet out of reach french macarons. We left without finding any but ended up with a nice full belly of red velvet cupcakes, peanut butter truffles, and chocolate + cheesecake squares. Good enough.
Afterwards, I went to a poetry/fiction reading for my school's literary magazine. I went by myself, and even though I would have enjoyed it more with a familiar face, I still had a wonderful time. I won the book Jesus' Son through a raffle there too, which was a happy surprise. I never win those kind of things.
Since I don't have any photo evidence of my delightful friday, here's some photos of what my eye has been gravitating towards as of recent.

I remember riding in a taxi one afternoon between very tall buildings under a mauve and rosy sky; I began to bawl because I had everything I wanted and knew I would never be so happy again.
My Lost City by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Hello! This whole posting thing is going to get consistent, I promise. So here I am, at college for the past month. It's rare to find any alone time, but when I do, I cherish it. And I take pictures of myself in that time.  

I'm wearing an express jacket with patches I've sewn on, h&m shirt, abercrombie & fitch sweather, forever 21 velvet leggings, and thrifted boots.

I have a few goals for this blog. I'm trying to make it as much of a creative outlet as I can with it still being enjoyable. I don't want to turn this into another homework assignment. Here are a few ideas I have for this:
  • The main goal is for this to be a "fashion blog." I have a passion for clothes and design and I want to showcase some of my outfits to keep my creative juices flowing in that department. 
  • I'm planning on posting some of the things I write here. I love literature and poetry so there's going to be a good amount of that here.
  • Lastly, I want to post people/things that inspire me. There's going to be many love notes in the near future.
Although I have only a few readers now, I'm not letting that deter me!

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